Reaction to Movie 'Why Did I Get Married?'

Why Mike and Sheila Became Unmarried in Why Did I Get Married?

From the very beginning of the movie Why Did I Get Married? the viewer gets the sense that all is not right with the characters Sheila and Mike, when one of the students of Patricia, the psychologist and author of the book with the same name as the movie, asks if the couple is still together.  When Patricia replies that yes, they are still married, the student responds with another question, “But are they happy?”

It is not until the viewer meets the couple Sheila and Mike that the picture becomes clearer that they in fact are not happy.  Their unhappiness appears to be rooted in the fact that Mike is a narcissist, as he demonstrates by his actions over and over again that he is "arrogant, self-absorbed, and for the most part, not terribly pleasant to be around," which is one of the ways that narcissists are described by editors Cupach and Spitzberg in The Dark Side of Close Relationships II. 

As we further explore the traits of a narcissist, it becomes obvious that the relationship of Mike and Sheila was likely doomed from the start.  Narcissists repeatedly demonstrate that they have a short attention span when it comes to relationships and “pay a great deal of attention to their relationship alternatives," constantly on the lookout for a better choice (Cupach and Spitzberg, 2011).  In Mike’s case, his current alternative apparently is Trina, which ultimately leads to the divorce of Mike and Sheila.

But even if Mike was not cheating with Trina, his narcissistic behavior toward his wife Sheila -- including hostility and verbal abuse -- likely would have eventually destroyed their marriage.  In addition, Mike is not only repulsed by Sheila’s excessive weight, but he also is repulsed by her kind personality that is so opposite of his, which is typical of narcissists, who prefer people to be more like them. 

Is it no wonder, then, why Mike and Sheila became unmarried in Why Did I Get Married? 

References

Cupach, W. R., & Spitzberg, B. H. (Eds.). (2011). The Dark Side of Close Relationships II. New York: Routledge.

Olson, L. N., Baiocchi-Wagner, E.A., Kratzer, M. W., & Symonds, S.E. (2012). The Dark Side of Family Communication. Cambridge: Polity.

Perry, Tyler (Producer & Director). (2007). Why Did I Get Married?  U.S.: Lionsgate.

 

 

Reaction to Chapter 7 on Infidelity from The Dark Side of Close Relationships II

Infidelity.  We’ve all witnessed it and some of us may have even partaken in it, given that the statistics show infidelity prevalent among more than half of the adult population (page 176).  As my reaction paper discusses and theorizes on, two areas mentioned in The Dark Side require further discussion and exploration as to:

·         Why there was a sudden jump in the 1980s of infidelity among women from a steady 24 percent to 26 percent in previous decades to an astounding 54 percent (page 176); and

·         Why there “may be . . . (a) shortage of single men in the African American community creating increased opportunities for married black men to engage in infidelity with single black women” (page 182).

Lastly, my reaction paper discusses the reasons why people participate in infidelity. My observations over the years reflect the findings reported in The Dark Side, with people from all walks of life, in all types of relationships and with a variety of attachment styles and personality types partaking in infidelity (as described on pages 178 and 179, respectively).  The chart below is based on my observations, combined with confidential information provided by the individuals involved (whose names have been changed to maintain confidentiality), about the reasons for their infidelity, their attachment styles and personality traits as defined in The Dark Side.