Reflection Paper on Chapter 6 of The Dark Side of Close Relationships II

Personal Ads vs. Online Listings: A Comparison of Remote Matchmaking Tools

Based on my own personal experience of having experimented with personal ads and the online matchmaking site Match.com during my single years, from approximately 1995 to 2005, I compared and contrasted the two remote matchmaking tools.  The following areas were discussed:

• Ease of Use and Time Consumption
• Accuracy of Representation
• Safety and Risk
• Effectiveness

Both tools had benefits and risks, as described by Susan Sprecher in her essay on "Internet Matching Services: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Disguised as Attractive)" (Cupach & Spitzberg, 2011, pp. 119-143).  Risks ranged from what Sprecher calls "socially-acceptable lies" -- such as changing your age, weight, height or career history -- in an attempt to achieve more or better connections (p. 129), to "lies to victimize" where an individual intentionally misrepresents him- or herself for ulterior motives that could potentially harm the other person (Sprecher, 2008, p. 128).

The conclusion is that there are risks in using remote matchmaking tools, just as there are risks in accidentally meeting a potential mate in a bar or other location, but there is also the potential for excitement as well as enduring companionship and satisfaction.  Only you can decide if the potential benefits outweight the potential risks.